Thursday, March 22nd, 2012/6:07am EST~Central Florida, USA
I think I’m losing it, you guys. Just before I woke up this morning, a scene passed before my mind in which Saphira the Dragon flew over Renaissance Florence, and in her confident, superior-than-thou-dragon-attitude shouted something about “sodomites in the city”, punctuating her mocking with a jet of flame and laughter.
Two days ago when I finished the fourth and last book in the Inheritance Cycle series, I cried. I cried for a full hour! I cried because I felt like I had just said good bye forever to a bunch of cool friends. And I cried because they have all gone on to rebuild Alagaesia into a peaceful kingdom, after having killed the bad King and freed the enslaved dragon hearts and eggs. Everyone is getting along now–the Elves, Dwarves, Humans, Urgals, Werecats, Witchs and Wizards–working together for the good of the newly liberated lands and races. I’m jealous!
Saphira visited Renaissance Florence because at this point in the new novel I am reading, (The Birth of Venus by Sarah Dunant) the heroine, Allesandra, has just been married-off to a man who is gay. Thus Saphira’s remark about sodomites. I wish I could recall what it is she said!? Perhaps Saphira and Allesandra are a lot alike in their attitudes and this is why my sub-conscience cooked up a scene, marrying the two stories?
When Thomas wakes up and I tell him my dream-flash I know what he’s going to say….he’ll tell me: “Oh God Mom..you have GOT to get out of the house more. You have to make some real friends and not live in your crazy imagination all the time; it’s not healthy.”
And I will sigh in reply and go back to my book. I can’t wait to get to the part where Allesandra will get her sexy snake tattoo! I wonder if she and the artist are going fuck? Especially after he finishes the man’s head on the snake; the tongue licking the top of the slit of Allesandra’s labia magora. Nasty!
No one had sex in the Inheritance cycle. They are books written for young people by a young person and though it is alluded to, there are no sex scenes in any of the books. Imagine that?…and I liked the stories anyway! Must be the kid in me.
When I cried after finishing Inheritance, I realized that one of my major problems in making friends is that I don’t like modern people very much. The characters and heroes in my books are much more suited to my way of thinking. They are smart, well-educated, expressive, passionate, creative, noble, active, fit, fearless and alive with purpose. Contrariwise, the humans I meet in person these days are mostly dull and zombie-like. Droning around on their phones; repeating last night’s news snippet; commenting on the weather and the latest movies. Makes me want to rip my hair out by the roots! Makes me lay around fantasizing fairy fantasies of fucking and freedom. Sigh.
Of course there’s something to said for my fantasies, eh? And too, the poetry that pours from my pen. Maybe Thomas has it all wrong? Perhaps it’s a blessing that I love books and don’t like socializing? Why is it so wrong to live in one’s imagination? Am I too old for that way of thinking? Am I a little girl in a woman’s body? Or, am I gifted?
Maybe I should run away? Run far away and live in a lonely cabin on a lake; write my books and grow my garden. To hell with what’s normal, I want to be me! And “me” is a writer; I am a reader. I am not a social butterfly; I am a loner-artist-think-too-much-masturbator. I am unusual, and yes, possibly a bit whacked. So what! So what, I say. I LOVE BOOKS!!!
And, I LOVE this email that a guy in Poland wrote and sent to me last month….these are the type of people that I want for friends and neighbors–IMAGINATIVE-MUSING-Artists!
Dear Shoshana,After hearing that accessing to your so called “sexy contents” requires some work by all of the interested (and this is an attitude which I approve) I allowed myself to write you a poem. Hope you will like it
My name’s Simon (Szymon). I’m your devoted fan from Warsaw in Poland. I admire your beauty and all your work since 2007. I’m sorry for my possible lingual mistakes…Here’s the poem:
You went into my heart quietlyJust like an arrow – so directlyI’m right under your spell
And, dear Lord, I’ve never felt so wellNow when I’m frozen, wet and shaken
Ready for the consequences to be takenYou kissed me softly then we drink some wineAnd after leaving you send me a misterious smileWorld is an enemy territoryThere are no lovers, no brothers, no friends
But in your arms I find my glory
And I’m so joyful when we touch our handsSome people warned meShe’s evil, better left her, she’s a witch
But I’ve ingored all of them
Perhaps my redemption comes not from Jersusalem
But from Salem?
LOVE YOU. GEETINGS from POLAND
And here is my reply….(though I have not heard back from Simon) Are you out there watching me, honey? If so, please reply to my reply. I am sorry if I offended you in assuming you are Jewish. It’s because of your Hebrew name and the fact that you mention redemption from Jerusalem. Although I will say that it’s suspicious to me that you are aware of Salem when you are in Poland and your first language is not English. Are you really in Poland or are you an American posing as a Pole so that I will be attracted to you because you know that I find most Americans to be shallow?
If you are offended, please forgive me? I just can’t help myself….I fell in love with Jewish people when I was only 11 years old, after my parents finished reading my siblings and I The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. Ever since, I’ve cried that I was not born Jewish. Although I don’t cry any more because I believe that I too am a descendant of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. See my Mythical Sambatyon post.
Shalom Simon~Thank you so very much for your email and poem; I am very touched. I wish you would’ve sent a photo with your email because I get weary with not knowing the person behind the words in the Matrix communications. Sigh.Perhaps we can exchange snail mail? I would love to receive a handwritten letter from my Great Grand Parent’s homeland–POLAND! Did you know that my maiden name is “PIATEK”. (Piontek) My father’s, father’s parents came over on a big ship at the turn of the last century. They were from a town called Piatkowa.Your poem has moved me deeply and has me wondering about your soul. There have been others besides your friends who have thought I am a witch. And I will admit that there have been times when I’ve been attracted to the ways of my other roots–my Celtic bloodlines via my father’s Scottish mother and my mother’s Irish blood–but I have never found paganism to feed the soul like Judaism, Torah and prayer directly to God himself.I would like to know more about you! Where do you live? How old are you? What do you do for work? Are your parents or grandparents survivors of the Shoah? Two of my closest friends here in the states and in Canada, are second generation survivors. You might say that I am rather obsessed with the holocaust and it’s history.On another note, please tell me how I might make you feel better? Are things chaotic in your part of the world, like here in the states and elsewhere? What a dark age we live in, yes?It would be fun to be your pen-pal and discuss more deeply the matter of redemption from Jerusalem. I too ponder much on this subject.Blessings, love & light~MUAH!xoxoxShoshana
“The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted.”